Haa

Haa is a small mountain getaway 2-3 hours from Thimphu. It sits more than 9,000 feet above sea level in a riverbed near snow capped mountains. Scenic? Yes.

Last week Major Jaswal called me and asked me to help him with the construction of the new course at the Indian army base in Haa. Having really no idea what this entailed, but eager to break away from my simple yet predictable life in Thimphu, I jumped at the chance.

My journey began in the back of a pimped out 10 year old "ambassador". For those of you familiar with India, you know about this historic model of car. A simple vehicle reminiscent of a pre WWII American sedan, yet complete with a DVD player and plush suede seating. The Indian army uses this vehicle to transport high level officials and officers throughout the country. Clearly they overestimated my significance.

The driver of my ambassador, Neshar, was a chatty jovial fellow from the "hill country" of India. Quite obviously from the Brahman caste. During the 3 hour drive we stopped 3 times. First, for tea. A second, to take pictures in front of the ambassador together. A third, to get get some "magical" water flowing out of a mountain near the highest (and coldest) mountain pass. The "magical" water is sprinkled on the wheels of the car (presumably for good luck, a scary thought), but also to refresh weary travels. Since I had just taken tea (about 20 km earlier), and am not particularly fond of unboiled water, I skipped the elixir. After the magic water, a simple game of volume control ensued in which Neshar would turn up the volume of his horrendous Hindi music to obscene volumes to which I would counter by turning it down. After 3 rounds, Neshar won, as I withdrew to the open the window and the breathtaking views below.

When I got to Haa I was greeted warmly by Major Jaswal, who took me for a short tour of the course. Although suffering from an extremely poor design, sand greens (sand and motor oil), and excessive elevation changes, the course had sufficient land and character to be an excellent 9 hole course, if designed properly. Over the next 4 days I did everything I could to convince the big wigs to keep the course fair, difficult, and most of all, safe. You see, the Indians and Bhutanese have this strange disorder that leads them to make golf holes short, goofy, and worst of all criss-crossing. This, in turn, forces the caddies to wear helmets because more than half the holes become death traps. In any case, I was eventually successful in pushing for a relatively strong and charming (at least to me) 9 hole layout with only 1 unavoidable criss cross. The design will be a par 34 or 35 with 2 par fives and 3-4 par 3's.

Next came the start of the work itself. I was amazed to find that I had 24 unskilled workers in addition to a backhoe and a team of skilled engineers, all at my disposal. Unfortunately not single one had any significant golf experience, which made my limited expertise even more influential. Had I decided to put a windmill directly in front of the 1st tee it would take less than a day to divert a stream to power the windmill. Absolutely ridiculous, but very fun. The design features an 8th green in the shape of Bhutan and a 3rd green the shape of India. Exactly the sort of novelty these guys love, yet tastefully done, of course.

Together we embarked on a mammoth redesign project that would easily cost $1,000,000 in the US, yet could be completed for a fraction of the cost here. Just for scope, "casual laborers" can be employed for 4,000 Nu per month, or roughly $85. Try $2,500 back home. And of course, anyone working for the army, such as an engineer, is free, since there really isn't much work for an army officer during peacetime. 

Apart from the pure excitement of being able to design and construct a golf course, something few golf professionals ever get to do, the project presented the unique opportunity to barter my expertise for the promise of a 5-day-a-week youth golf program open to all the kids in Haa. To understand how great of a concession this is you need to understand the army mentality on this side of the world, which tends to see army land as strictly army land, not open to outsiders. I'll be back to Haa next week to continue what will hopefully be a long and fruitful relationship between the Indian army and the BYGA!

The Bhutan Open

It took me 15 years of golf to make my first hole-in-one. Last week I knocked in a crisp sand wedge from 104 yards on the downhill 10th hole at Royal Thimphu Golf Course. Certainly a memory that will last for as long as I live.

This past weekend presented a similarly significant memory. The 2009 Bhutan Open was held at Royal Thimphu Golf Course. The field was a bit small, only 23 participants, a majority of whom are pretty good players. The guy in the picture above is Thrinley Namgayel (Tillie). Tillie was my caddie for the two rounds, the best I could have hoped for. After two rounds I had zero lost balls, totaling a two day total of 68-68 (+2), good enough for a narrow victory over Nick, an Australian mate who is working as my teaching partner here in Bhutan.

Nick and I were happy to play well, but it was just as encouraging to see the BYGA kids we teach play solid golf as well. Jeevan finished 3rd, Karma 5th, and Dechen 6th. In sum, the BYGA took 5 of the first 6 places, a testament to the hard work we've been putting in.

The Kids

The kids of the BYGA come in all shapes and sizes. Age 4 to 20, they arrive and we teach em. It makes developing a good practice plan difficult, but I've learned to improvise and use the older kids to teach the youngsters. English is only taught in the schools so the little ones who haven't been to school are the most difficult to communicate with. Often, I just give them a club and a ball and tell them to "swing under that tree over there". Back home, where there parents pay lots of money for lessons, such behavior would surely be neglect. Here it seems totally acceptable since they are skilled at entertaining themselves and more than disruptive when you try to include them in activities. Resourceful or evil, you decide...

Another challenge is the amount of energy they bring each day. All day the kids are cooped up in school without any recess or physical education classes. By the time they get to golf, they're literally bouncing with energy. "Coach, coach, coach" is all I hear for 15 minutes straight. Yesterday I arrived at golf to find a dozen kids gathered around 4 pieces of cardboard arranged in a semi-square shape roughly the size of a wrestling ring. It seems I had come just in time to witness their best interpretations of WWE professional wrestlers, mimicking their favorite show on TV. I was about to share the story of how professional wresting began in MN with Jesse Ventura and Vern Gagne, when the kids began body slamming each other with more that bit of fervor. There was no blood, but definitely some extensive bruising. It seems physical fighting here in Bhutan is a game, just like golf or badminton. Odd, I think, for a predominantly Buddhist culture.

Besides the fighting, which really doesn't bother me much since development experts say it can actually be positive, I don't have any real discipline problems. Learning names, on the other hand, can be a real challenge. In Bhutan there are roughly 15 common names. Chances are 80% of the people you meet will be named Jigme, Dechen, Dorji, Sonam, Tenzin, Rinchen, or Tshering (pronounced 'sring"). Or, more likely, some combination of the aforementioned. A fun game is to yell Sonam into a group of people and see how many heads turn. At least 2 out of 10, regardless of gender, is the norm. Evidently traditionalism comes at a cost to originality. 

Since learning names can be difficult, previous pro's here have simplified the matter by naming kids by the t-shirts they wear (everyday). Ex: one kid has a cartoon sleeping bear on his shirt, thus he has been named "sleeping bear", which he seems to enjoy since I've never seen him out of it. Pictured below is my putting group today. Cheki, Pema (Sleeping Bear), and Jigme. Jigme is the son of the general manager and lives on the course. He is the best 9 year old putter I have ever met. He enjoys saying "lovely putt" in a British accent as he follows his 10 foot putts into the hole. And yes, they all wear crocs, or more likely, some cheap imitation. Fun times with the BYGA.

Tournament Time

The India House tournament went off without a hitch. Qualifying took place over 3 days during the week. Players from across the country gathered to tackle Bhutan's most devilish 10 acres of land. The picture above is of the legendary par three 2nd hole, where good and decent golfers score 10, 15, and even 20 shots. My fivesome teed off on Wednesday morning at 9:15. At days end, I was the only one left in my group with a chance at making the cut (1/3 of the field make the cut). I was 10 over my handicap (0, I shot +10) and stood in about 25th place out of 150 players. My 10 over par round wasn't good by any means, but I've had rounds in the past where I hit the ball equally well and shot under par. The 10 strokes just added up... an extra bunker shot here, a missed 4-footer there, and before you know it you shoot 74 on a par 64.

I began play on Saturday convinced I could better my score. I couldn't have possibly been more mistaken. The pin positions on Saturday were unbearable. Hole after hole, the greenskeeper had placed them 2 feet from the edge of the green. On hole number two I made a bogey 4, but watched other players in my group make 7, 9, and 13. I finished the round 22 over par, my worst round since high school!

Without a doubt the most rewarding part of the experience was getting to know my playing partners. The youngest member of the group was a guy named Kille, a 17-year old caddie at Royal Thimphu. Kille only made it through 8 grades, but is well regarded by his peers and stands high on the caddie totem pole (meaning he gets the good loops with foreigners who tip well). He's also got a decent golf game, though he buckled under the pressure like a lawn chair in a tornado. Not all that uncommon when you're playing for a car and you're one of the favorites.

The next best player in the group behind Kille was a Major in the Indian army. The Major is a short wide man, who's portly appearance and low croaking voice reminded me of a bullfrog. Major had a nice swing despite his 10 finger grip and amphibian characteristics, but his real talent was telling dirty stories about his girlfriends and wives (I think he had 2 of each). It took me a dozen holes to realize I was better off walking slowly to the next tee so as to avoid the lurid details of his love life.

After Major, was Colonel, a small and sprightly man from south Bhutan. Colonel was well mannered and excessively excited about playing is his first tournament. The interesting thing about Colonel was that he truly was a self-taught player. He'd only played a few rounds in his life and yet was competing in his first tournament. He had learned golf from various books and the internet, though I wonder if the book he first picked up was authored by Jim Furyk. His swing was long and inefficient, but you could tell instantly he had spent plenty of time at his army base hitting 7-irons out of the dirt of some lonely field behind the barracks. Colonel missed the cut, but his effort was impressive nonetheless.

The last member of our group was a guy I had played basketball with the night before. His name was Dasho, and he is the 40 year old husband of the King's sister (royal blood = Dasho). He is a remarkable man by all accounts. An engineering degree from Berkeley and an MBA from Yale are just couple of his minor accomplishments. He also started, with the help of his wife, Royal Thimphu College, Bhutan's first higher education institution. Dasho struggled the day I played with him, the result of being far too busy to practice, but he was a joy to play with. Back in the US, it's not okay to strike up a conversation with a guy in a tournament after he makes a 9 on a hole, yet Dasho seemed more than willing to chat it up regardless of the route his ball took to the bottom of the cup.

On Sunday night after all the golf was played everyone gathered at the Indian embassy for the awards and banquet. The official awards ceremony was titled "Prize Distribution Function" and was exceedingly well planned. You get the idea from the name that formality is not something the Bhutanese/Indians shy away from. A caddie, who practiced golf in the evening by sneaking on the course, won the grand prize. His brother even took second prize (won a flat screen TV). The boys' father who works grounds crew at the course makes $60 a month. His sons, with one good week of golf, netted $8,000-10,000. What a life changing event!

After the prize distribution event everyone gathered in the moonlight to celebrate the amiable, yet complex, relationship between India and Bhutan.. Pork curry, was the appetizer, but drinking was the main priority in the early evening. After eveyone was sufficiently liquored up, the real spread of food finally appeared. It was delicious. I have decided that Indian food in Bhutan is actually better than Indian food in India. Gorged and content, people drove slowly home, unafraid of the $40 fine for a DUI. The next morning, Thimphu rush hour was a bit lighter than usual and golfers slept off the final effects of India House Golf Tournament 2009.

India House

India House is the name given to the Indian Embassy, the largest embassy in the fledgling democracy. As a strategic buffer between India, and China (specifically Tibet), Bhutan has been a substantial beneficiary to Indian aid both directly and indirectly. In 2007, Bhutan reported a 27% growth in GDP due largely  to a lucrative hydroelectric project constructed with Indian expertise. The advanced engineering does not come free however. The relationship benefits India in two main ways. First, India gets cheap power that it uses to fuel its growing population. Second, and more importantly, India strengthens its political authority regionally. Whether real or imagined, China represents a significant perceived threat to many nations within the Indian subcontinent.


The embassy itself sits on the north side of Thimphu, next to a swiftly moving turquoise river. A golf course was created within the embassy for the officers during their off hours. I use the term "golf course" loosely here because the course represents the most ridiculous test of golf I have ever encountered. For all you golf nuts out there I'll explain why with the help of the scorecard from my most recent practice round...

Hole     Par     Yards     Score
1          4         296        4          E
2          3          98         3          E
3          5         349        5          E
4          4         350        4          E
5          3         132        3          E
6          3         124        3          E
7          3         176        3          E
8          4         245        5         +1
9          3         165        3          E

Total Score 33 (+1)

Not so impressive right? Yet, I've been told my birdieless round was a course record! How, you ask, can a course record be set without a single subpar stroke? How can a course with a 349 yard par 5 play so tough? Simple.... greens the size of thimbles, trees in front of every green, and the worst layout imaginable (some caddies wear bike helmets, no joke). Six of 9 holes utilize the same 2 fairways. Several times throughout the round you must aim over one green to get to another. Etiquette requires you to yell "ball" before you lift a shot over someone's head if they are closer than 50 yards. On the short par 5 I hit 9 iron, 9 iron, SW while playing over 2 other groups. I considered trying to hit 3 wood over everything, right at the green, but the increased chance of killing someone weighed too high on my mind.

Of all the holes at India House, #2 takes the cake as the worst hole in golf. It's a plateau par 3 that goes up the hill about 60 feet. The goal is to launch a SW high into the air and hold an 8 yard deep green made of  sand, but hard as concrete. Hitting the green is the easy part. Next you must putt to a front pin tucked menacingly close to the edge of the cliff. The best strategy is to try to 3 or 4 putt for bogey or double, biting off about 2/3rds of the distance with your first few efforts. Once you've got your putt within 18 inches, ram the putt in with your eyes closed. Trust your stroke because a miss here is fatal. Any miss, however slight, will role 50 yards down the hill to a hard pan lie behind a group of pine trees. Last year multiple scratch handicaps scored more than 20 on this hole! One guy finished the hole hole with a 34 while others gave up when they reached the mid teens.Would it surprise you that pace of play can be an issue?

Worse than mini golf, right? Who in their right mind would ever want to play this silly thing? Every golfer in Bhutan. You see, the prize for the India House tournament is a brand new car.

One more detail, the car goes to the net winner, not the gross winner. Can you find any better motivation to sandbag? I'm starting to understand why the caddies who hit the ball 300 yards with a gentle fade carry 18 handicaps (18 is the max allowed in Bhutan)...

The officials at India House have been generous enough to let me play for free, though I wont be able to win any prizes. Unfortunate, because I really could use a washing machine (3rd prize). I'll keep you posted with the results.

My goal for the event, since I can't win a prize - not getting hit by anything small, white, round and airborn.

Top 10

Top 10 Things you'll see at Royal Thimphu Golf Course that you won't see anywhere else...


10. Prayer flags on the hillside.

9. Women gathering firewood on the golf course so they can cook dinner for their families.

8. Caddies wearing flip flops who don't own shoes or clubs, but can beat the socks off a 2 handicap.

7. Doma (beetlenut) staining everyone's teeth red (think chewing tobacco with more kick).

6. Kids swimming naked in lateral water hazards.

5. The most delicious egg fried rice and chicken butter masala this side of the Ganges.

4.  A four hundred year old Zhong (palace) next a glacier melt river so pure you can see right to the bottom of its deep blue waters.

3. Rough so long and gnarly you'd be afraid to send your first born in after a lost ball. 

2. Guard dogs. Some fiercer than others.

1. Specially designed phallus shaped bunkers meant to ward off evil demons/the golf gods.

Golf in Bhutan

Golf in Bhutan is a bit different. There are 3 courses in the country and I am lucky to work at and play the best one, Royal Thimphu Golf Club. Royal Thimphu began in the 1970's. Supposedly the King wanted to preserve the green space around the zhong (palace), but was tired of the stench emitting from the rice fields near by. Someone suggested that he build a golf course. The King knew nothing of golf, but liked the idea of keeping the sprawl of urban Thimphu at bay while concurrently adding another game for the Bhutanese to play. Later that decade a rich Japanese businessman came to the area and made the course what it is today. He contoured the fairways, shaped the greens and brought the golf course into modernity. Despite the quirkiness of golf in this part of the world, the mounding and layout are surprisingly strong. Most of the greens are flat and domed (think of less severe Pete Dye) with challenging bunkers on several holes. The members of the course wanted their prized golf course to be difficult so water hazards were added as well. Water hazards here come in two varieties. Irrigation canals that run 3-4 feet wide crossing close in front of greens, and cement bathtub ponds, which are a bit smaller than the greens themselves, but quite deep. They remind me of swimming pools in AZ except that most of the bathtubs have cracks in the bottom requiring constant watered during the dry season (winter). However, during the monsoon season the ponds are filled to the brim, as Thimphu experiences 5 meters of rain in the summer. A major point of conflict recently have been the school children of the area using the ponds as swimming pools while golfers attempt to play the course. In Bhutan, things like this happen all the time. The members will yell at the kids and vent their frustration to the committee and yet the informal afternoon swimming lessons will continue. Despite the members best intentions, the golf course has the feel of public land. Kids, dogs, and people in general wander through the course on their way to wherever they may be headed. The latest idea is to surround the course with thorny bushes and fences to keep the public at bay. It's a nice plan on paper, but it seems likely that the fences will soon have child sized holes in them.

The course itself is tucked on a small strip of land without much room to expand. At current, the course has 9 holes with 2 sets of tees on each hole. This makes it possible to go around twice and play a par 67, which stretches out to about 5800 yards. One might think this would be a simple test, yet I can honestly say that shooting par at a 7,000 yard course back home is undoubtedly easier. Royal Thimphu's main weapon against golfers is the rough, a maniacal combination of fescue, clover, and kikuyu that goes to your knees in most spots. Missed fairways are almost always lost balls, costing the golfer 2 shots. Having a really good forecaddie helps, but even so, the average member loses 6-10 balls per round. So if you ever meet a tanned Bhutanese kid who plays at Royal Thimphu and claims to have a 12 handicap, don't get yourself in a serious money game. In all likelihood he's better than your local club pro.

My job with the BYGA is to train and mentor Bhutan's youth golfers, which seems like simple enough assignment. The difficulty of the task lies in two areas. First, the facilities at Royal Thimphu aren't the best. Secondly, the bureaucracy of the course makes it difficult to accomplish anything. We have a range, which has a small tee deck offering 6 blades of grass per square meter. In other words, you hit shots off dirt. The other problem with the range lies in the landing area, which is also the 2nd fairway, perhaps the most dangerous acre in all of Bhutan. Stripe your tee shot down the middle of the fairway while you're playing the 2nd hole and you have put yourself in prime position for death by Top Flite. Some players on the range may stop hitting, but don't count on it. It's best to watch the range for incoming artillery until its time to hit your shot. Then proceed quickly without a practice swing, knowing this could be the best last shot you ever hit.

Thankfully change is on the way. Already plans have been made to add a small range between the 2nd and 9th fairways. It will be a tremendous amount of work, but the kids of the BYGA will help and Josh Adrian, a golf course superintendent here from the US, has enough knowledge to get us started. I've been given a tentative okay from the course captain to begin work. Now if only I had a bobcat to move some dirt, sand to create a green, and seed, sun, and water to make it grow...



You can see here the spectacular view from the 2nd tee, and the fairway which currently doubles as the driving range.



Coronation Cup
This weekend is the Coronation Cup, a 36 hole tournament commemorating K5's (the 5th King) coronation, I think. The prize is a 3 day trip for 2 to Thailand which includes airfare, golf and spa. Even so, I've heard rumors from the kids that a lot of the members will purposely play bad to keep their handicap high for the next tournament, which has a small car as the first prize. Generally caddies win these tournaments because the handicap system only reflects tournament rounds and everyone starts out at 18. My good friend Karma (the 12 handicap who plays like a 2) won a washing machine in the last tournament. His cloths are now the cleanest of all the caddies.

As an outsider who "has a nice game", I'm not eligible to play, which is quite strange given that I'm really the only professional in Bhutan, and therefore the only one who should be playing for such a prize. According to USGA and R&A rules back home, prizes for amateur tournaments can't be worth more than $750. Accepting any prize worth more would terminate one's status as an amateur. Chang, the course manager jokes that "there are actually no amateur golfers left in Bhutan".

Although I'd like to play to experience competitive golf in Bhutan, not playing has its benefits too. Most notably, avoiding an 8 hour round of golf, the result of five-somes playing on a short course with more opportunities to lose your golf ball than the 17th at Sawgrass.

Look for another update next weekend...