India House

India House is the name given to the Indian Embassy, the largest embassy in the fledgling democracy. As a strategic buffer between India, and China (specifically Tibet), Bhutan has been a substantial beneficiary to Indian aid both directly and indirectly. In 2007, Bhutan reported a 27% growth in GDP due largely  to a lucrative hydroelectric project constructed with Indian expertise. The advanced engineering does not come free however. The relationship benefits India in two main ways. First, India gets cheap power that it uses to fuel its growing population. Second, and more importantly, India strengthens its political authority regionally. Whether real or imagined, China represents a significant perceived threat to many nations within the Indian subcontinent.


The embassy itself sits on the north side of Thimphu, next to a swiftly moving turquoise river. A golf course was created within the embassy for the officers during their off hours. I use the term "golf course" loosely here because the course represents the most ridiculous test of golf I have ever encountered. For all you golf nuts out there I'll explain why with the help of the scorecard from my most recent practice round...

Hole     Par     Yards     Score
1          4         296        4          E
2          3          98         3          E
3          5         349        5          E
4          4         350        4          E
5          3         132        3          E
6          3         124        3          E
7          3         176        3          E
8          4         245        5         +1
9          3         165        3          E

Total Score 33 (+1)

Not so impressive right? Yet, I've been told my birdieless round was a course record! How, you ask, can a course record be set without a single subpar stroke? How can a course with a 349 yard par 5 play so tough? Simple.... greens the size of thimbles, trees in front of every green, and the worst layout imaginable (some caddies wear bike helmets, no joke). Six of 9 holes utilize the same 2 fairways. Several times throughout the round you must aim over one green to get to another. Etiquette requires you to yell "ball" before you lift a shot over someone's head if they are closer than 50 yards. On the short par 5 I hit 9 iron, 9 iron, SW while playing over 2 other groups. I considered trying to hit 3 wood over everything, right at the green, but the increased chance of killing someone weighed too high on my mind.

Of all the holes at India House, #2 takes the cake as the worst hole in golf. It's a plateau par 3 that goes up the hill about 60 feet. The goal is to launch a SW high into the air and hold an 8 yard deep green made of  sand, but hard as concrete. Hitting the green is the easy part. Next you must putt to a front pin tucked menacingly close to the edge of the cliff. The best strategy is to try to 3 or 4 putt for bogey or double, biting off about 2/3rds of the distance with your first few efforts. Once you've got your putt within 18 inches, ram the putt in with your eyes closed. Trust your stroke because a miss here is fatal. Any miss, however slight, will role 50 yards down the hill to a hard pan lie behind a group of pine trees. Last year multiple scratch handicaps scored more than 20 on this hole! One guy finished the hole hole with a 34 while others gave up when they reached the mid teens.Would it surprise you that pace of play can be an issue?

Worse than mini golf, right? Who in their right mind would ever want to play this silly thing? Every golfer in Bhutan. You see, the prize for the India House tournament is a brand new car.

One more detail, the car goes to the net winner, not the gross winner. Can you find any better motivation to sandbag? I'm starting to understand why the caddies who hit the ball 300 yards with a gentle fade carry 18 handicaps (18 is the max allowed in Bhutan)...

The officials at India House have been generous enough to let me play for free, though I wont be able to win any prizes. Unfortunate, because I really could use a washing machine (3rd prize). I'll keep you posted with the results.

My goal for the event, since I can't win a prize - not getting hit by anything small, white, round and airborn.